![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
who needs character info when you have TIFFLENS
1. I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
2. Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Shan and cats"
3. Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
4. I'll say this one last time. You are [AGE] YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life.
5. I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
6. I just gave a homeless man a ride back to his bench. This city’s weird but I like it.
7. Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
8. Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
9. The sign in front of IHOP says "designated drivers get half off their order"
2. Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Shan and cats"
3. Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
4. I'll say this one last time. You are [AGE] YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life.
5. I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
6. I just gave a homeless man a ride back to his bench. This city’s weird but I like it.
7. Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
8. Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
9. The sign in front of IHOP says "designated drivers get half off their order"
8
[Like 20 seconds later:]
"Bo" that's not a word, that's me going :o but I'm wearing my shades because my future is so damn bright Bob
oh fuck see now that just looks like bob >B/a
no subject
Why would either of those things need to be called "adult"?
There's no food that's "adult" by default and I don't even want to know what adult fuel is powering.
Man you really just need to get a good emoji pack, you're making less sense the more you say.
no subject
[He does this now. He is, in fact, wearing sunglasses. They are blue!]
anyway, let's unpack this.
at first you would just think adult food = opposite of baby food, so solid food
but you're thinking too small, Shannon
it's adult food
classy
like steak tartare or expensive sushi
as for fuel, it is separate from the "adult food" portion
they sell adult food
and fuel
[Another selfie - a snarl and some finger guns.]
case: cracked
you're welcome
no subject
Shit, that makes sense. Gotta give you this one
Are you gonna keep this up for every single text forever?
no subject
the taste of "adult food" is refined
or something like that
and yes don't pretend you don't like seeing my pretty face after every text message
[Kissy face selfie this time.]
why they're selling steak tartare and gasoline in the same place, I do not know
gas station meat? sounds pretty sketch
might be a poor people thing
no subject
Boy who is 6 years and 5 inches smaller than me :))))
[He's not actually bothered by being called "little submarine man," for the record. It's kind of endearing.]
Poor people steak is a thing, I can confirm, but I think it's just like deli meat pressed into strips instead of slices
Not what I would consider adult
no subject
[It's not Shannon's fault that he doesn't know Mika could literally eat him in one bite if he wanted to. He doesn't though.
[Well, maybe a little, but he's very practiced in showing self-restraint.]
anyway if you want to know a secret, steak tartare is just raw beef with raw egg on top, so it's actually not that fancy, and rich people are just jerks
but it is fun to be one anyway! B)
man no these emotes really don't do it
[BIG smile in this selfie.]
no subject
Hahahaha
Wait are you serious?
I've seen it on menus at some of the places I've worked but never
Are you SERIOUS??
That doesn't even sound good, and wouldn't it give you ten kinds of food poisoning?
You have to be messing with me right now
no subject
it's literally like a raw hamburger patty with an egg on top it is like
the least fancy thing in the universe
i mean i imagine most places at least use GOOD meat, but still
it IS delicious though, so don't hate :P
sushi is just raw fish
what's the difference?
oh sorry i forgot my shades on that one BP
[Selfie: BP]
no subject
You should get a set of custom emojis made, all of your face hahahaha
Nah sorry, you're not selling me on it, especially not by using sushi as your defense
I don't eat any seafood
[OF COURSE BRUH like what were you thinking with that one?]
But I am kinda curious now...
The resort I'm working at right now does give me free meals, maybe I'll see if they've got it at the restaurant... just to prove you wrong, of course
no subject
duhhhhh, mika
how could I forget you're like the world's biggest fish fan?
sorry though because they are deliiiiiicious B)
[Selfie: winking, with the shades tilted down just enough to see it.]
the emoji really can't do that one justice
but you don't want me to make my own!
don't rob yourself of the full res B)
and you are only going to prove me right so go ahead shannon, you fish loving bitch!
raw meat is 100,000 million times better than cooked meat idgaf what leon says
no subject
no subject
cooking it takes all the blood out >B|
[Is that less disturbing? Is that better? He sends a pouting face.]
no subject
That and the thousands of selfies
no subject
you know shannon
may I call you shannon, shannon?
you know shannon
B)a you're a nice a guy
you should join our little crew when we take our trip
ive told you about the trip havent I?
no subject
I think you have but refresh my memory?
I'm locked into this job for four months so as long as it's after that, I'd probably be interested :D I'll need a break
And you and your crew need adult supervision hahah
no subject
[His selfie looks more like :(]
we leave ASAP
maybe tomorrow
next few days for sure
half of them don’t know that but they’ll learn >B)
I have to fetch them all first you know
We’re going on an adventure
no subject
You look too sad, that's not fair :'(
Why don't you bring the gang to visit me then?
no subject
what state are you in right now again? B)a
If it’s on our way...
I just need to get where I’m going soon
But I should really stop to see you while I still can B’)
no subject
Let me tell you, I needed this after doing two months of great lakes dives in Michigan
While you still can? This isn't a doomed voyage is it?
no subject
we’re joining a commune B)b
no cell service booooooo
no subject
Yeah you're never gonna survive, it's been nice knowing you
no subject
not having faith in your very pretty and awesome friend Mika B(
[:(]
I’ve been preparing for this for MONTHS!!
It’s my friends who won’t make it
They don’t even know that’s what we’re doing yet B)a
Leon does but he’ll be fine he’s scrappy
Ezra will probably be fine too he’s homeless
So it’ll be fine!!!
no subject
I think it'll be good for you, honestly. I hope it's a good time too
Maybe tell your friends more about it though?
no subject
then they’ll never agree to come along BP
they’ll get used to the idea once they’re there
it’s not like they have anything to lose!!
no subject
I bet they'll not only agree to come, but be way happier when you're all there because you gave them the choice :D
no subject
listen
it's the perfect crime
and im not technically lying to them
i am just allowing them to assume some little white mistruths